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Martinez lives with his husband in Montclair, New Jersey. Product details Item Weight : 4. Don't have a Kindle? Customer reviews.

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Please try again later. Verified Purchase. Read this book, and you'll come away with a lot more self-love than you'd think was possible after years of looking for love online His experiences with his clients give relatable hope, his psychotherapy expertise gives a clear, logical and theoretically-sound paradigm to understand why we struggle with dating and his obvious heart lends a compassionate lens by which to reconsider everything you thought you knew about looking for love.

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As a licensed social worker and non-gay-man-identified singleton, this book has value for me personally and professionally. There are no prescriptions, no judgments- just helping all humans make smarter, kinder decisions, with a balanced and informative lens of what it's like to be a gay man in America and how that impacts the search for love.

It's worth a serious read if you're looking for clear, kind and useful frameworks to make actionable steps to change how you or your gay male clients look for love- everything from looking at yourself, grieving past relationships, creating space for your feelings, figuring out what you want, setting up the date, when to have sex spoiler: ok on the first date if you're feeling it! It's psychologically sound advice, realistic for the dating world today and kinder than whatever the voice in your head is telling you after another bad date.

Just read it! One person found this helpful. As a professional counselor who works with the LGBTQ population, I found this book to be an informative guide to helping gay men engage in a more intentional process around dating. The section on learning to recognize and resolve internalized homophobia was particularly well-done.

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Learning to value yourself first, and know what you really want in a partner, is a great foundation for anyone, whatever your sexual orientation! This book is a great resource for gay men trying to navigate the world of dating. It helps conceptualize why gay men find initimacy so difficult and then to break down those walls with practical tips you can put to use. As a therapist who works with many gay men, this book has been a great resource for me and my clients.

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Highly recommended! Great book!

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