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- LGBTQ World News Digest: 13 International Stories You Need to Know About - Towleroad Gay News
- Grindr was a safe space for gay men. Its HIV status leak betrayed us
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If you live in a small town in a small state, what percentage of men are gay? What percentage of those gay men are positive or open to dating someone who is positive? If you limit yourself to finding someone around the block, you may have created an insurmountable challenge.
The reality is that he could be anywhere, could live anywhere. He might, or might not, live across the country. He might, or might not, use a dating site, a dating company, have, or not have, a personal ad somewhere. Try to stay open. There are no support groups, no social activities with other positive people out here; there are no retreats that those of us who are low-income can afford.
We as gay folk ignore our possible candidates for dating in this group. Sites like POZ Personals and options on dating apps have made it much easier to let an interested suitor know you status by reading your profile.
LGBTQ World News Digest: 13 International Stories You Need to Know About - Towleroad Gay News
Many, many guys know nothing about HIV and fear positive individuals as one would fear someone who had contracted the Ebola virus. No matter how hot that guy looks, avoid an awkward, embarrassing or even violent situation by laying all your cards on the table at the appropriate time. The appropriate time is soon after meeting. Since then, I have not had so much as a second date with someone. Always the same result: They move on, and I need to find the strength to start looking again. Yet after 15 years, little hope remains of not dying alone—my greatest fear. Ironically, I have never had any medical issues.
Just when others hear those three letters they make a fast exit. Yes, he had alcohol; yes, there is a history of anger management incidents. What is online is true —this condition does not improve, and the perpetrator of the violence never owns or acknowledges it.
Grindr was a safe space for gay men. Its HIV status leak betrayed us
Learn more about the other person. Gradually, the wall comes down, and each of you relaxes, letting your real self peek out. Allow time for that to happen. You have been inactive for 60 minutes and will be logged out in.
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If he is negative he can choose to say if he is on PrEP, a preemptive dose of the HIV treatment drug Truvada , that gives protection from becoming infected. While the technological revolution was going on, there were also medical and social ones as well. Because of that and the hard work of gay and HIV activists, the stigma about dating and having sex with positive dudes is certainly lessening, especially among gay men. The reason many men feel comfortable posting their status underneath a picture of themselves sometimes with their face, sometimes just from thighs to neck wearing a Speedo is because Grindr is considered to be for gay men only.
No one needs to worry about their straight coworkers, concerned mothers, prying neighbours, or busybody pastors logging on and finding out something they are comfortable revealing only to potential dates and sex partners.
I fear that this is going to start preventing people from posting their status and methods of protection against new HIV infections. Since many of us have become accustomed to meeting people online, those old awkward conversations will go by the wayside and gay men will be vulnerable to something worse than hacking and data mining. But there are public spaces and then there are public spaces.
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How one would behave or what one would talk about in a gay bar is very different from how one behaves at church, in their office, or while grocery shopping. That is the biggest sting about this news. Gay men thought that Grindr was a safe space, where we were free to be ourselves away from judging eyes.