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I met a girl at school who I actually was super into. We texted non-stop, and I had actually purchased a bus ticket to visit her since we were from different states. We began talking in March, and I ghosted her around mid-May. MMU : Did you ever see her again? D : Unfortunately, we went to the same school and were a part of the same friend circle, so when we got back to school in August I saw her very frequently. She never called me out on it, but then again, she literally never spoke to me again. When she walked past me on campus, she would deliberately look away from me, or raise her chin and accelerate her pace.
MMU : Why did you decide to ghost her? Stateside, I was an underage male, but in Europe, I was a bachelor spending all of my money on booze. It really had nothing to do with her, and everything to do with Czech Pilzners. D : I guess I have two answers to this question. I ruined any chance I had with her, ruined our friendship, and made it very awkward between us. I even ghosted my parents while on this trip, going to a music festival in Belgium and turning my phone off for eight days, causing my parents to be worried sick.
My point is, I was dumb and immature during that entire chapter of my life, and am smarter now because of that chapter.
MMU : Why did ghosting seem like the best option in the grand scheme of things? Was it the easiest way to go about ending it? D : The ghosting was kind of unintentional.
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I went to Europe with every intention of starting things up with her again once I got back to school. Instead, I met someone else. James, a year-old gay man living in Washington, DC, thinks that ghosting may actually be more popular among same-sex couples. Milk Makeup : Have you ever been ghosted? James : Yes, I have been ghosted many times. MMU : What did it feel like to be ghosted?
J : Getting ghosted by someone you really like totally sucks. MMU : Do you think ghosting is just as common in same-sex relationships? Claire, a year-old living in Washington, DC, is still getting over being recently ghosted. Claire : Yes, I actually have been ghosted recently and I found it really confusing. Either way, I felt like he should have at least acted like an adult and just been honest with me about what the situation was. MMU : Did you ever see him again? Did you call him out?
MM : Why do you think he chose to ghost you? He was definitely pushing it but I told him I wanted to take things slow, and I think that could very well be the reason.
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While we may never arrive at a precise scientific understanding of why people ghost, we can try our best to deal with the pain and frustration of being ghosted so that moving on with life is a little easier. Russo advises that the most critical part of moving forward is dealing with being ghosted in whichever way works best for you. Higher scores indicate higher perceived parenting competence. This scale was only administered in W2 with parents completing the scale.
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The scale was validated in individuals identifying as cisgender and lesbian, gay, or bisexual. There are three subscales past, current, and impact ; each asks for a rating on all 45 items. Means were calculated for each subscale. Higher scores indicate more frequent experiences or greater impact. In the scale validation study, experiencing a past homonegative microaggression was significantly moderated by impact in predicting self-esteem Wright and Wegner, Individuals who experienced greater past homonegative microaggressions were more likely to report having lower self-esteem when those experiences were highly impactful for the participant.
As such, these interaction terms i. This measure was only administered during W2. The IPPA consists of three subscales: trust, communication, and alienation. We created a composite score that provides a mean of all items, averaged across both parents. Higher scores indicate better relationship quality. First, we examined unconditional models with no predictors and only the outcome variables of interest i. Level 1 represents the calculation for parent—child relationship quality, Y ij. Level 2 represents a comparison of averages for the outcome variable. Interdependence of responses within families is controlled by the u 0 j coefficient.
Missingness in terms of item non-response on key variables mental health symptoms, perceived parenting competence, perceived adoption stigma, parent—child relationship quality, all five homonegative microaggression variables was low for W1 variables averaging 1. To account for missingness, we used full information maximum likelihood FIML in the HLM models, an approach that is both widely recommended and appropriate for managing missing data in multilevel models Acock, ; Widaman, ; Johnson and Young, For bivariate correlations among variables of interest, achieved power was 0.
For one-way ANOVA with four groups lesbian mothers, gay fathers, heterosexual mothers, heterosexual fathers , achieved power was 0. For multiple regression three predictors , achieved power was 0. Thus, analyses were mostly powered to detect medium to large effects. Preliminary analyses i. Given previous research indicating the relevance to parent adjustment and family relationships of each of the following variables—child age Farr, , child gender Freeark et al. These analyses revealed no significant associations among covariates and variables of interest, so no demographic variables were included in subsequent analyses.
A one-way ANOVA was conducted to assess differences by parent gender and sexual identity four groups; lesbian mothers, gay fathers, heterosexual mothers, heterosexual fathers in mental health symptoms, perceived parenting competence, and adoption stigma Table 3. Significant differences were found, however, in perceived parenting competence at W1 and W2. In both waves, heterosexual fathers reported feeling less competent in their parenting ability than all other groups see Table 3 for descriptive information.
No significant differences were found among the remaining three groups for perceived parenting competence. Finally, no significant differences were found in perceived adoption stigma at W2 by parent gender or sexual identity.
Table 3. Five separate independent samples t -tests were conducted to assess differences between LG parents on the five homonegative microaggression variables at W2. No significant differences were found between LG parents among any of the five homonegative microaggression variables Table 4. HLM was used to assess differences by family type three groups: lesbian, gay, and heterosexual parent families in child-reported scores of parent—child relationships. Specifically, to compare by family type, the Level 2 equation provides a comparison of averages across family type, e.
As in previous HLM research involving indistinguishable dyads e. No significant differences were found in this variable among lesbian, gay, or heterosexual parent families. We also conducted these same analyses a second time with gay father families as the reference group such that comparisons were directly made between gay father families and lesbian mother families and between gay father families and heterosexual parent families. The pattern of results was the same regardless of whether lesbian or gay parent families were the reference group.
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Table 4. Homonegative microaggressions: means, standard deviations, t -tests, and effect sizes for lesbian mothers and gay fathers. No significant difference was found, however, between W1 and W2 means for perceived parenting competence. The omnibus model was not significant so we did not interpret the individual predictors see Supplementary Material. All five omnibus models were not significant, so we did not interpret the individual predictors see Supplementary Material.
The omnibus model was not significant, so we did not interpret the individual predictors see Supplementary Material. Table 5. Hierarchical linear modeling HLM : inventory of parent and peer attachment from wave 2 W2 variables whole sample. Only current experiences i.
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Table 6. Hierarchical linear modeling HLM : inventory of parent and peer attachment from wave 2 W2 variables in lesbian and gay LG parent families. First, parents were well-adjusted overall in terms of mental health and in reporting generally high levels of parenting competence. Parents also reported relatively low adoption stigma and children described high-quality parent—child relationships on average. LG parents also described few homonegative microaggressions overall. Aligned with general predictors from both family stress i. From a strengths-based perspective, greater parenting competence was linked with better parent—child relationship quality for all in the sample on average , and LG parents described themselves as particularly competent in their parenting roles.
In this way, our findings did not suggest any additional vulnerabilities for LG adoptive parents as compared to heterosexual adoptive parents in terms of mental health, parenting competence, or parent—child relationships, as might have been expected from family and minority stress theories; rather, our study pointed to possibly unique dynamics of resilience among these families. Our first hypothesis regarding differences as a function of parental sexual orientation and gender was generally supported. There were no significant differences in this regard in parent-reported mental health symptoms at either time point W1, W2 , supporting earlier research with LG parents Calzo et al.
This may reflect the particularly demanding responsibilities of parenting young children Goldberg and Smith, , ; Lavner et al.
There were no differences as a function of parent sexual and gender identity in reports of perceived adoption stigma, consistent with Goldberg et al.