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Like the sea — faraway, yet full of possibility — Danlan would be a sanctuary for gay men to express their hopes and fears.
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Historically, Chinese society has neither recognized nor shunned its queer communities. Chinese religious traditions like Buddhism and Confucianism do not overtly condemn homosexuality, which means that cultural attitudes are more malleable there than in other Asian countries like Indonesia or the Philippines. Nor was homosexuality considered by authorities to be a decadent Western import; on the contrary, it is widespread and recognized in Chinese history and culture. Still, homosexuality was formally considered a mental illness until But in recent years, the government has neither expressed explicit support for the L.
But longstanding Confucian traditions and values — an emphasis on having a respectable marriage, giving birth to sons, saving face and filial piety — remain deeply embedded in the fabric of Chinese society. This dynamic also means that family is the place where rejection and discrimination occur most frequently, particularly among the older generation.
The internet has facilitated these arrangements, with websites like ChinaGayLes. By , the number of internet users in China had grown a hundredfold since Geng founded Danlan. To meet rapidly growing demand, he recruited five other team members, running the website out of a rented apartment and working through the night. Eventually, he expanded to Beijing, keeping up this double life — shuttling between roles as straight Qinhuangdao cop, happily married and respected by his colleagues, and gay Beijing entrepreneur — until Geng agreed, assuming the video would have a relatively small audience.
Shortly after its release, Geng received a call from his police bureau, demanding he return to his post. His bosses gave him an ultimatum: Shut down the website or quit his job and leave. He handed in his resignation that day, along with the uniform that he had worn since he was He was disgraced — spurned by his colleagues, disapproved of by his parents — and his marriage dissolved.
But he had finally come out.
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Private enterprises in China must navigate government officialdom without being directly confrontational, operating by a set of rules that are as opaque as they are capriciously applied. An estimated , Chinese would contract H. Today Blued runs H. This alliance with the government gave the company legitimacy in the eyes of the public and prospective investors.
In November , the C. Danlan introduced the Blued app in , a few years before the government introduced a nationwide policy to boost its tech economy.
But according to Wang Shuaishuai, a lecturer at the University of Amsterdam researching digital gay-dating communities in China, this strategy might prove limited. Although social networking apps like Blued have allowed communities to form, they are closed, not public forums where Chinese people can build movements for their political rights.
Blued has a content-moderation team that works around the clock, making sure all content is by the book. Duan Shuai came out to his parents two years ago, at It was Chinese New Year, and his mother was asking, once again, when he would bring a wife home.
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When he told her the truth, she cried, asking him to leave and never come back. He felt both sad and free — devastated to have disappointed his family but relieved to have finally spoken the words. Center and the local craft-beer brewery Great Leap Brewing. New laws governing NGOs have limited the ability for L.
In , Duan, who volunteers for the organization, erred on the side of caution, keeping the event size small and promoting it only through word of mouth. In contrast to other minority groups, the L. While same-sex marriage in China remains a distant reality, this was a clear indication that the government was acknowledging the status of an increasingly visible community.
But, he added, to push for greater change, they need a critical mass of Chinese to come to their side. Like hundreds of thousands of young Chinese who traveled back for the holidays, he has been cooped up at home since, waiting out the coronavirus.
Very few young people go to bars and pubs. Another Chinese app, Momo , has got more of a hook-up reputation and is particularly popular with ex-pats living in China make of that what you will.
How a Dating App Helped a Generation of Chinese Come Out of the Closet
This has proved popular in a culture where people are generally more reserved about approaching someone, even on dating apps, than they are in other parts of the world. In Southeast Asia, meanwhile, negative perceptions around dating apps continue to linger. Finding love online has been historically frowned upon in many of the more conservative societies such as Malaysia and Indonesia, and this stigma has kept singles looking for love IRL Internet parlance for "in real life". A few tech innovators, however, have found a way to break these difficult markets.
Paktor has quickly grown to become one of the biggest dating apps in Asia, and now has 15 million users in Taiwan, Singapore, Malaysia, Indonesia, Vietnam and Thailand.
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Their secret to success has been tapping into a need for discretion. Since they changed the rules and said people simply needed to enter a phone number to join, rather than link to a social media account, membership soared. Like Momo, they have also introduced group settings, where shy daters can get to know each other more informally.
An eager market responded and hundreds of thousands of matches have been made. This includes co-founder Joseph Phua , who met his wife on Paktor two years after he launched the app. And he is not alone—throughout Asia, app innovators have been coming up with creative solutions to traditional cultural barriers. In India, meeting prospective partners is less of an issue than finding a place to spend time together when you live under the watchful eyes of your family.
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In Japan, there is the opposite problem. While there is no shortage of love hotels, people are still looking for matches to meet them there.
The name harks back to the concept of arranged marriage and users are urged to go on wholesome first dates such hiking or tea-drinking.